Winston Diary Part II

Chapter 1:
I was walking through the lavatory at work. It was a beautiful morning, and my ankle felt pretty good, but it was then that I saw her. The dark haired girl. He name is Julia, and I love her. She loves me too. According to a note that she gave me. She slipped it in my hand after I helped her up after she tripped and fell. I thought she was apart of the Thought Police and she was punishing me. However, she is really the exact opposite of what she seems like. I went to this beautiful and secretive meadow to meet her, and we talked a ton. We shared our true feelings with eachother. And it was then that I kissed her. I felt an extreme attraction toward her. I felt no desire or want to have her, but a strange protectiveness over her. I wanted her to want me back. I wanted her to love me. I loved her, and I have never truly loved someone so deeply before. It is a strange new sensation that I am feeling, and I enjoy it.

Chapter 2:
I slept with her. I slept with Julia. We fell asleep together for about an hour and a half, and I woke up still loving her. I feared tat I would feel no attraction toward her once I slept with her but I didn't. I woke up with the same feelings. We are planning to meet again sometime soon. Oh, how I love Julia, and she loves me.

Chapter 3:
We can't meet in the same place more than twice. And we have to very our meeting areas. We have to find different ways to reach the area, and we have to leave at different times. I hate being so careful. I wish we could just love each other and be with each other, and not have to break all these rules. I want to care for Julia without having to walk on egg shells around this situation. We could get in huge trouble. But I am not scared. I am more irritated that this is so necessary. And yes -it is necessary. However, my love for Julia will keep me going. I will never stop loving her, wanting her, and protecting her. I will break the rules until I am caght and killed, for this is love, and no one, not even Big Brother can change my feelings for Julia.

Chapter 4:
Julia and I have finally found a slightly permamnent meeting spot! I am waiting for her arrival in this new place right now. It isn't much; just a room above Mr. Charrington's shop. It has a bed, a sink, a stove, and a counter. It probably has millions of bugs and insects in here, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were a few rats too. Oh, how I hope that there are no rats. I hate rats! They are my worst fear!

Chapter 5:
I knew this would happen -I just knew it. Syme is gone. Just like that; he has vansihed. I even checked the chess club list, and was not surprisedto see his name erased from the paper. There were no earser marks on the paper though. It was a whole new sheet. Gosh, how I knew this would happen. He was just too smart. He thought about things too much. He knew too well of the governments intentions and plans. This is not fair though. I disliked Syme, but this is not fair. He was an innocent man, and they vaporized him for his wisdom. It is almost as if the government is afraid of its society. It is as if they are killing people that pose any sort of threat to the government's power and authority.

Chapter 6:
I got a note! I got a note from O'Brien! He is on our side! He is on our side! I must tell Julia at once. He gave me his address. I am going there soon, and Julia must come along. She wouldn't miss it for the world.

Chapter 7:
I had a dream about my mother, and how she died. The memories all came flooding back to me. They flooded my mind and brought tears to my eyes. I was a horrible and out of control child. I was selfish, inconsiderate, and I was a complete bully. My sister was dying and I took her share of food. My mother was stressed and starving, and I took her share of food too. I was a greedy child. One day, I went out of the apartment for a few hours, I returned and they were gone. My mother and sister had vanished. Just like that. They were erased from the world.

Chapter 8:
We visited O'Brien. It was nothing what I was expecting though. He was very business man like. He was not there to discuss his hatred for the party or rant on about Big Brother being a fool. He was there to share with us what we were supposed to do, ask us a few questions, and send us away. It was wierd though. He asked me very intimidating questions, and he even asked me if I was willing to never see Julia ever again. We both said no of course! But what disturbed and amazed me more was that he was able to turn his telescreen off! Yes, he could turn it off, and have no one listen or see what he was doing. I want a telescreen like that. I want a life like his.

Chapter 9:
I got the book! I got it! A man handed it to me and said "I think you dropped your brief case." It all happened just like O'Brien said that it would. Julia and I began to read the book, and it is so interesting. The language is different, and therefore hard to understand, but I still find the piece of writing phenominal. It speaks the truth. Goldstien tells the truth! The government wants society to be ignorant. In fact, the government encourages society to not be concerned with "unimportant" matters. I have truly learned what is really going on inside the party, and I am determined to be the best Goldstein follower there has ever been. I am scared, but I am determined.

Chapter 10:
They found us. They discovered Julia and I in Mr. Charrington's room. They hurt Julia and took her away. There had been a telescreen behind a picture in the wall, and they could hear every word we were saying. Who is "they?" I have no idea. They were all dressed in black. They surrounded the house, and did something to the large singing woman. They are going to do something to me too. Something worse. I hope with all my heart that Julia is okay. I love her, and I trust her. I don't trust Mr. Charrington! He lied. He works for the party. He is part of the thought police!!!